Jet Lagged

That's what I'm calling it for now. I am jet lagged. I've been home from our YoungLife Expedition/Exposure trip for almost a full month now, and I'm still adjusting, acclimating, and catching up on sleep. I took the day off of work today, solely to rest, reflect, and pray about what is next.

I went to Africa a little under a year ago with a local organization called, "Children's Hope Chest". Wait, let me back up.

I have had a heart for Africa since I was a young, high school student. I remember shortly after I gave my life to Christ at a YoungLife camp in Colorado, coming home and having a conversation with my father about wanting to do missions in Africa. That dream was immediately shot down, not with any intention of discouragement from my dad, but he came from a protective posture and never wanted me to get hurt. Not to mention, a few months earlier I had almost died from an allergic reaction to a bee sting (or the social injustices in Africa that were consistently televised during the Clinton and Gore campaign).

Early last year, an opportunity came to serve in Uganda with a group of some of the Senior YoungLife girls I was mentoring through a local NPO, Yobel Market. I started fundraising, showing up at team meetings, and my heart was sold on being a part of that team. After many tearful conversations, specifically with my mom, I knew that if I did not have my parent's blessing and support over an intense experience and adventure like this, then I could not go to Africa with peace (even though I'm 25, I still need mom and dad's permission). I backed out of the trip, cried a lot, and continued praying with a dear friend about where God had me next.

In May of 2010, my close friend from the Dale House Project, Abby Mortenson, had invited me to an event at the World Prayer Center with Iempathize, a Boulder-based organization, who's mission is to spread awareness and education and promote change in the world's injustices through "an empathy experience". Abby and I's heart is for justice for the oppressed, so we went. Little did we know, that our hearts would be RUINED during the Iempathize experience. Through worship, prayer, photography, videography, and artifacts, the stories of human trafficking no longer had a statistic, but a name, a face, and an incredible testimony of hope, rescue, and restoration.

Abby and I were so overwhelmed with how to respond to such an intense experience, but we knew we could not be the same. We committed to meet and pray/intercede once a week for global injustices and the things God had placed on our hearts. Anything from divorce and separated families where the enemies lies had won, to specific organizations and ministries in Cambodia who were fighting to restore dignity to victims of human trafficking through micro finance, relationships, and Christ. We had no idea where prayer would lead us, but we knew that prayer was just as effective as working on the front lines of injustice.

Abby heard about a trip to Ethiopia with Children's Hope Chest that would leave in a month. When she mentioned it to me, my heart about blew out of my chest and in August of 2010, we were fully supported and landing in Ethiopia (with the support and blessing from my mom and dad- praise Jesus).

I have blogged about that adventure and the CRAZY healing that God started there, but I didn't get to talk about our connection we made with YoungLife in Ethiopia.

Because there is always less than 7 degrees of separation of Jim Rayburn (founder of YoungLife), I of course connected with a former YoungLife volunteer leader, Fikre Feseha, who was also an in-country staff member for Children's Hope Chest. One of our free evenings, Fikre took another YoungLifer/team member from our trip and I to connect with Mogus (Mogi) Berassa, the Ethiopia YoungLife country director. After touring the YoungLife office, playing the "do you know______ through YoungLife" game (and finding out that we knew some of the same people!!), and praying for the needs of YoungLife in Ethiopia (including raising financial support, new areas starting YoungLife, and ministry doubling in number), we started discussing how we could help with the needs. Mogi shared that sometimes Americans bring groups and serve as work crews for YoungLife camp. I left there with peace and thinking, "Lord, how crazy would it be to bring the Woodland Park kids I'm leading and loving on back here someday to serve on work crew." I just knew I would be back...

BUT NOT less that 10 months LATER!!!

Fast forward (and to make a long story even longer) to July of 2011, I am leaving Denver International Airport with 12 high school students, 1 on my Alumni YL girls from KC, and myself (the lone wolf leader) on a YoungLife Expeditions trip to ETHIOPIA! It was unreal how much God turned the fear of leading a trip by myself as a single, white girl into a third-world country, into so much peace through the unreal support and favor we had going into this trip.

I cannot stinkin' wait to share the rest of this story, even as it continues to unfold since our team has been home for about 4 weeks. There is SO MUCH that my heart is still processing and learning to find words for. I'm holding on to His promise that "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ"- Phil.1:6

Until then, stay tuned for more :)

YoungLife Ethiopia Trip!

Last year, I embarked on a life-altering adventure to Ethiopia that gave me vision for the students that I have loved on, mentored/discipled, and lived life with for the past 10 years through YoungLife to experience a world beyond them.

I'm traveling in July with a team of devoted high school and college students to live and serve incarnationally through YoungLife Ethiopia and to seek and promote reconciliation and healing in orphans in Ethiopia.

I need your help to raise $1300 to cover the land costs NOT including my plane ticket. If I can have at least 100 friends give $20 or more (that's sacrificing 3 mochas at Starbucks this month) then I can be very close to making my dream a reality.

It's sort of a push - the first half is due very soon - would you consider partnering (prayerfully or financially, or both) with me as I pursue the Godly desires of my heart towards leading students in Africa? Tell your friends, get the word out - I really believe God can do it!

If you would like you can send a tax-refundable check to “YoungLife Expeditions” and mail it to me at 39 Pontiac, Woodland Park, CO 8086.

If you chose, you may also donate via my paypal account (not tax-deductable) below.

You are a blessing, and I’m so excited for you to be a part of our adventure!

Rest and Receive

Both of which I suck at practicing. I say practicing because it is a process of learning to make it a habit or discipline. There is such a strong resistance to being still and resting, since the underlying message from the world, the flesh, the enemy says "keep busy, keep running, don't slow down, be distracted, you are not worthy of time to stop/be still/reflect/be fed." There is so much grace in knowing that the extravert in me goes a little insane when I even consider the thought of being alone for more than an hour. Yet this pressure of being a "good Christian" or "taking a sabbatical" seems so out of reach. I have observed that it is extremely difficult for me to take rest (which the word "rest" is different for every individual- naps, alone time in a place without distractions, relaxing and soaking up the word, etc. For me, all of those things sound great if I am WITH someone or in the external... but I thrive off of processing life and reflecting with PEOPLE, being OUTSIDE on a hike, skiing, etc. THAT is how I am filled and feel rested), and the simple act of receiving seems too crazy to fathom (receiving love, receiving affirmation, receiving acts of service, etc... it's too much. Reflecting on the question, "Why can't you receive love/affirmation/service from others, etc", I start making lists of the supposed reasons... then I feel like I need a therapy session).

Barf, so much brokenness. But the promises of repenting and believing (Mark 1:14-15), and seeing brokenness and exhaustion as an opportunity for Him to take charge of my life (seems a little scary to trust, but also so refreshing to know I'm not in charge) gives hope.

In other news, training for another half-marathon has been anything BUT successful. Planning other events, like leading a trip to Ethiopia with about 12 high school kids without a male co-leader, is time consuming... not to mention scary as all get out. Invitation to manly men: come co-lead a trip to Africa with me.

Advertisement: If you want to give $ towards that trip, book a session with me with Hope for a Future Photography! The donation you give goes towards the costs of the trip.

kidlets

a taste of some of the kiddos I've got to play with:

Senior Photo Sessions

Calling all Seniors! Want your pics done affordably and with purpose?? Book a time with Hope for a Future Photography, a donation based photograph project helping orphans in Ethiopia!

Here are some shots below!

love change, hate transition

I might be ADHD. I've realized I have a hard time sitting still in one place for too long, most recently in my current life situations. Realities have caved in on me like snow on the roof of the metro-dome! My lease ends at the end of May- I could backpack all summer and transfer jobs elsewhere in August, I could up and move out of the state- there is always a need for Social Workers in random places (Africa?), I could take a sabbatical and learn to crochet these really cute hats I tried on this weekend (which sounds super life giving), I sell everything I own and move to PATAGONIA (ugh, dream of mine), I could start my Masters in the fall (which sounds like a chore, but I really love learning and wanna know so much more about therapy and the brain) OR... I could realize that even though I desire change and movement in my life so frequently, it is really hard for me to transition. It is hard to acknowledge that relationships change and become different after a move, it is hard to find comfort in newness, it's hard to build deep community and instead settle for unintentional relationships (especially when you have had a taste of the most fruitful ones), and it's hard to transition from change.

Do I stay in the comfortable and feel "blah"... or do I jump into the unknown in the next year (or 6 months even) and "understand dependence when I know the Maker's hand"? P.S. does anyone else cry on command when Mumford plays?

I'm signing up for another 1/2 marathon in the Spring. Even though running has never been my favorite (Colorado lacks in good pools for training!), it is a sweet opportunity for me to process and reflect. Not to mention the scenery in Colorado beats any treadmill or trail I was on in KC or Columbia. I have to pay the entrance fees so that I can actually BEGIN the training again, because if I don't have a goal in sight, I tend to whimp out and put it off.

Ultimate realization in all of this- There is risk when you confront and take on change. So far the risk-outcomes have not really been in my favor, so the challenge becomes seeking truth in my identity in Christ and continuing to trust that He makes beauty from ashes.

Ever have "that friend"

Pandora was rocking to "Tim, I wish you were born a girl" by Of Montreal today. I laugh (not only are the lyrics hilarious...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQSd9q1OSPg), because I have so many friends that I love like that and so much I think, "You get me, you know me, and you still love me?" Love that about intentional relationships. Love in the brokenness, right? Huge realization for me lately is learning to love like Jesus loves... so thankful to have it modeled!